Chris Brown "Sorry"
“Never ever go back to that man. Once a man hit you it be over. Doan be foolish.”
… BFP’s Auntie Moses gives some advice for Rihanna
Rihanna Back With Chris Brown
Before the very public incident last February 8th where it is alleged that Chris Brown battered Rihanna, there were rumours on a few occasions about Rihanna sporting bruises and then expensive gifts later on.
We hoped that we were not seeing the same pattern of abuse in their relationship that we’ve all seen at one time or another with some couples. When Rihanna’s bruised face appeared on the internet many of our readers commented with their advice and hope that Rihanna would not go back to her abuser.
Rihanna has done just that: run back to the arms of the bully who beat and bit her.
I don’t care if Rihanna started the whole thing. I don’t care if she slapped or hit Brown first. I don’t care if she was going hyper because Brown received a text message from another woman.
A man must not hit a woman. Period.
But like so many women who think that some violence in a relationship is “normal”, Rihanna has returned for more abuse. He’s “sorry”, she’s “sorry”…
… until the next time.
Slumdog Millionaire Child Actor Beaten By Father – Didn’t Want To Be Shown Off
Not A Movie Scene - Child Actor Beaten By Father
As usual most of the BFP crowd watched the Oscars on the satellite. I don’t know why, but this one annual event has turned into a big get-together where the girls comment on the dresses and the guys mock the celebrities who have gone to the plastic surgery clinic a few more times than they should have. (Oh those lips! LOL)
This year the attention was focused upon the big winner Slumdog Millionaire that won eight Academy Awards including Best Picture. We knew nothing of the film before the Oscars, but as we watched the clips and saw the children from the slum who had been flown over from India we talked about what would happen to them now.
Now that the ceremony is over. Now that the awards have been won and the money is rolling in. Now that their major usefulness is over.
It didn’t take long. Poor little Azharuddin went back to his home in the Mumbai Dharavi slum – exhausted from Hollywood and the flight back to India. He didn’t want to be shown off to reporters so his father beat him, the photographers photographed it and got a better story than they had hoped for. In North America or maybe even Barbados, the child welfare authorities would have been around just as soon as they saw the photos, but in Mumbai people will merely say that the child is lucky he isn’t a real slave (of which there are tens of thousands in Mumbai alone).
As for Azharuddin, he will continue to live in the slum with his abusive father who has tuberculosis. Like Chris Brown, the father made an apology and an excuse of sorts, saying “I was very sorry I did what I did… I was confused and stressed by my son’s homecoming and I did not know myself for a minute. I love my boy and I am very happy to have him home.”
People Don’t Have To Stay In Abusive Relationships
Most of us can think of a few abusive relationships we’ve seen in our neighbourhoods or workplaces. Many of us have been there ourselves. I can only hope that the very public nature of the abuse we’ve seen will cause some folks to realise that people don’t have to stay in these relationships. They don’t have to take it. Think about that the next time that you see a similar pattern developing with a friend or in the family. That is the only good that can come out of what has been shown in public with Rihanna and little Azharuddin.
Further Reading
People Magazine: Rihanna and Chris Brown Are Back Together
The Sun: Scumdad Millionaire
Barbados Free Press 
I don’t necessarily believe everythng that is printed in Tabloid type media and that includes People magazine. However, on the off chance that this is true, I can’t state more strongly how this will be one of the biggest mistakes Rihanna has made. Once a man steps over that line by physically assaulting a woman it becomes easier and easier to do so again. This is not news, it is a fact, supported by sociological research and studies.
Rihanna was educated at a good school and apparently raised by good parents. She is heads above someone of Chris Brown’s background. When I listen to him being interviewed, he mangles the English lanuguage and does not come across as a particularily bright person. Rihanna is demeaning herself to continue with someone of such low caliber.
Rihanna’s parents can only do so much in trying to influence her. She is now 21 and free to do as she likes but I wish she would do some deep self examination to find out what her emotions truly are for this man. Some women, who are lacking in self esteem, feel compelled to prove to these abusive men that they are worthy of love and respect. Rihanna needs to know that SHE needs to love and respect herself first.
I wonder how wunna malicious gypsy Bajans feel. Wunna gotta stop getting into ppl’s business. Wunna mussee feel like stinking sour dogs.
The morale of all this is mind wunna own damn business.
@Auntie Moses …
“A man must not hit a woman. Period.”
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… and what about a women hitting a man ???
I agree that violence is to be abhorred but I think you have this wrong – shows you women like to have your cake and eat it too – women’s equality, etc.
It should be …
“No one should be hitting anyone. PERIOD !!!”
But I will say this if a women starts beating up on me and not going to stand there and take it, I may shows some restraint but only some much, so wheel and come again.
I’ve watch school children at a certain private school here, and watch young girls beat up on the boys, and the boys just take it, but when the boys have enough and lash back at them – physically or otherwise – they (the boys) get the discipline and the girls get the sympathy and IT IS NOT FARE !!!
Again, I’m not taking up for Chris Brown or any other abusers (male or female), only what you said, which was one-sided, which ever way you look at it.
Sorry, for my bad english/typos – BP was running a bit high and was typing fast.
This sort of one-side thing annoys the hell out of me.
This sort of behaviour reminds one of the Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown relationship, which was devastating on Whitney’s life and career.
http://thepooffingtonheist.com/
“Dr. Sylvia Chew, Head of the California Institute for Spousal Abuse in Malibu said she doubted reports put out by any record company facing staggering potential losses if Brown goes to jail.
“I’m told one of their new rap songs is ‘I said I loved you even when you f***d-up my face and beat the s**t out of me, but I lied,’ which if true is a cry for help from a little child needing a father and suffering from acute Stockholm Syndrome.””
Did some searching under Domestic Violence against Men … you can read the whole thing I found by following this link (I think it fits mainly situations like a glove)
http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
However, I did want to post this excerpt, in fact I think I will show it to my wife, betcha it causes an argument.
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A Common Dynamic: How Violence ERUPTS
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There are a number of commonly reported interactions in which violence against men erupts. Here is one example that illustrates a common dynamic.
The woman is mildly distressed and upset. The man notices her distress and then worries she may become angry. The woman attempts to communicate and discuss her feelings. She wants to talk, feel supported and feel less alone. She initially attributes some of her distress or problems to him. The man begins to feel defensive, shuts down emotionally and attempts to deal with the problems rationally. He feels a fight is coming on. The woman feels uncared for, ignored and then gets angry. She wants him to share the problem and he doesn’t feel he has a problem. The man will attempt to remain unemotional and stay in control of himself. He avoids accepting any blame for how she feels. He is also worried that she may explode at any moment and that she will certainly do so if he talks about his feelings. The man will start talking about her problem as if she could feel better if she would only listen to him and stop acting so upset. He fails to understand how she feels and tries to remain calm. He tells her to calm down and ends up looking insensitive. She begins to wonder if he has any feelings at all. She tells him that he thinks he’s perfect. He says he is not perfect. She calls him insensitive. He stares at her and says nothing but looks irritated.
The woman is frustrated that he won’t reveal his feelings and that he acts like he is in control. On the other hand, the man feels out of control and like there is no room for anybody’s feelings in the conversation but hers. Communication breaks down and the woman begins to insult the man. When the man finally expresses his disapproval and attempts to end the fight. The woman becomes enraged and may throw something. The man will usually endure insults and interactions like this for weeks or months. This whole pattern becomes a recurrent and all too familiar experience. The man becomes increasingly sensitive to how the woman acts and becomes avoidant and unsupportive. The man begins to believe that there is nothing he can do and that it may be all his fault. His frustration and anger can build for months ike this.
This risk of violence increases when the woman insults the man in front of their children, threatens the man’s relationship with his children, or she refuses to control her abusive behavior when the children are present. She may call him a terrible father or an awful husband in front of the children. Eventually he feels enraged not only because of how she treats him, but how her behavior is harming the children. At some point the man may throw something, punch a wall, or slam his fist down loudly to vent his anger and to communicate that he has reached his limits. Up till now she has never listened to what he had to say. He decides that maybe she will stop if she can see just how angry he has become. Rather than recognizing that he has reached his limits, expressing his anger physically has the opposite effect. For a long time the man has tried to hide his anger. Why should the woman believe he really means it? After all, he has put up with her abuse for a long time and done nothing. Instead of realizing that things have gotten out of control, the woman may approach him and say something like, “What are you gonna do. Hit me? Go ahead. I’ll call the police and you’ll never see your children again.” Once he expressed his anger physically, the situation became dangerous for him and for her. The door to violence has opened wide. He should walk away. When he does walk away, she ends up more angry than ever, will scream obscenities at him and strike him repeatedly. She may even strike him with an object.
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Something that no-one has mentioned is that Barbados’ “golden girl” Rihanna has sold her soul for a dollar.
She didn’t just make it on her melodic voice. She has dressed or should I say undressed in Britney Spears and Madonna fashion.
Was that necessary? Have you followed the timeline of photos of the relatively “innocent” Rihanna that left Barbados and the “sado-masochistic” morphing into who she portrays herself as now?
Don’t you know that there is a price to be paid when you throw morals and values to the wind in order for fame and fortune?
I’m not saying she deserves having been beaten but knowing what she now knows about this boy/man she surely deserves it now if it happens again.
@ bajangal
Rihanna does not deserve your nasty unenlightened criticism.
Wanna does dress wassa dan dat fuh crop over.
Leave the young lady alone.She is a victim of abuse.
Your veiled comments suggest that Rihanna invites abuse.
Nonsense. strhu
Good point but love is a serious matter. Perhaps he has learnt his lesson.
IMO stars in America need controversy to stay in the limelight, and besides my opinion, that is a known fact. So if these two didn’t take up again, with each other, they would both likely fade a bit. As bajangal says above, little miss sunshine has morphed herself for the almighty dollar and that’s where it’s at. Look at Britney…”Not So Innocent,” and Rihanna, “Good Girl Gone Bad.” It’s a formula for success.
No one invites abuse but it happens and all too regular. She has got to be careful and needs sound advice right now. Perhaps JayZ will do exactly that.
Disagree. As the old saying goes about the book and its cover.
Please tell me P Diddy Combs did not say this?
“While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened,” said Combs, “he’s willing to forgive the woman he loves and will drop all charges against himself if she publicly blames herself.”
This has got to be tongue in cheek?
Yes the money loss to a record company has to be huge. The agents had to be burning up the phone lines from the time of the incident.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck ….Anyway I couldn’t care less, she’s an adult. The only problem is that Rihanna’s success makes a mockery of my advice to the young females in my family to study hard at school, develop a talent, choose your friends carefully and to work hard at perfecting your skills. The youngsters tell me that my advice is “old school”…..you only have to look good, shake your body and be in the right place at the right time.
What is so big about this incident, is she the first woman to get lashes,only because she is BAJAN that is why so much talk.
How is there any comparison at all between Rihanna an adult, a Barbadian, who has the protection of wealth fame and family and a poor little child form the slums of Mumbai.
In fact no one has even mentioned the little fellow.
Rihanna is a big girl now she knows what to do – and if she has any sense will drop this AH like a hot cake.
The much to be pitied little Azaruddin is another case altogether. He’s eight years old has a tuberculosis father and is now going to exploited as much as possible .
Casual violence is as much a way of life there as poverty .
He needed much more tangible help than just money he needs practical love and support.
What is so wrong with Rihanna being with Chris? Rihanna is 21 and is therefore a legal adult who is capable of making her own decisions. Again Bajans mind wunna damn business.
IDear Sing a song:
It is actually harder to do this “look good, shake your body and be in the right place at the right time.”
than this “study hard at school, develop a talent, choose your friends carefully and to work hard at perfecting your skills”
If the youngsters are wise (but alas wisdom is rare in youth) they will take your advice.
Two of the chiId stars from the movie have been given apartments for their famiIies to Iive in. The producers of the movie have arranged proper schooIing for the kids who appeared in the movie. There has been a fund set up to take care of the kids rather than a Iump sum given to their parents, to protect the interests of the kids. We saw the father whacking his boy when the chiId was just too exhausted to do anymore interviews. That’s what happens in famiIies Iiving on the starvation IeveI. In the SIum, each extra person, no matter his or her age, has to go out and earn, just to get food for the famiIy, and each new baby represents a new earning opportunity. A IittIe girI or boy of 6 may be soId into prostitution or a 5 year oId boy must toiI aII day making bricks. Don’t sneer, this was going on in Victorian EngIand and can be seen on “the WaItons” or “IittIe House on the Prairie” in the US, Iet aIone Barbados. But don’t worry about the chiId actors of SIumdog. The BoIIywood movie industry is massive, huge, vaster than HoIIywood and these IittIe, random, stars, the chiIdren who appeared in the SIumdogs movie, now have big box office cred and a big future in the Indian movie industry.
@Victor,
You are so right. Charles Dickens documented lots of what went on in England. In Canada, they worked the fields, fished and were sent down the coal mines at a very early age. Very few went to school and if they did only for a few years. A ten year old was considered an adult in those days. Girls married at 12, or puberty, whichever came first.
The film had a meagre budget of $13 million US. The girl was paid about 500 pounds sterling and the boy 1200 sterling. After the film received good reviews at the Toronto Film Festival, Boyle decided to find a studio to distribute it for him. It was made for DVD release. He was turned down by the first two he approached. After the film’s success, he allegedly sent money to the parents to get better housing, who in turn, passed it on to a real estate “agent” to find a property and the agent disappeared.
So, he is now taking precautions.
When you consider that Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Nicole Kidman, start bidding at $20 million to star in a movie, you get the enormity of the success of Slumdog Millionaire.
its stupid to say mind ya own business on this. How can the stars benefit ( Rihanna is now one of the most famous people worlwide) from all the positive fame that is pushed down our throats day in and day out and then when soemthing negative happens to them we the fans are supposed to mind our own business…. STUPSE !
Rihanna made this our business by not keeping her abuse on the down low. Thats not our fault. Clearly there ar alot of starlets in hollywood that get beaten but they make sure that happens at home …LOL Rihanna unfortunately chose to fight in public!
I think she is stupid for going back to him ( AND so SOON)!
i’ve been following the comments and this statement always comes up
“no man ain supposed to put he hand on no woman”
i whole heartedly agree but i must also say
“no woman ain supposed to put she hand on no man”
ppl regularly forget this part.
now here are some other statements
“a man is physically times stronger and if a woman attacks him he shud retreat cuz women are weaker”
now my take on this is
by gender is it a rule dat states that once you have a vagina and breasts that you are automatically weaker? also dont you think a female should consider my size and strength before she gets physical with me? are we calling women stupid for not knowing that if you attack that man dat he might spin u rong wid a slap?
“there is nothing a woman can do that can deserve her getting beat”
nutting at all? is this absolute? and why?
i dont condone beating women (without a damn good reason)
but gosh i gine hell cuz “there isnt a reason to whup a gal’s ass” jokes
also with the whole chris and ri thing
2 ppl fought, 1 lost
thing is no one knows what cause chris to be ri. but according to some ppl whatever it is he shouldnt hit her. how can it be that cut and dry?
there ain a reason to hit anyone EVER, the world would be without war and milk and honey would flow through the streets.
cmon ppl no one is perfect, not chris, not ri, no one. who knows he may hit her again, or maybe she will hit him, or maybe they will live happily ever after, who knows? no one cuz most likely no one wont be there to see the ass whupping or what caused the ass whupping.
Hey BFP just make sure you have room to print future shots of Rihanna all battered up………because it will happen again. He is giving her a clue as to what life will be like with him and she is ignoring it. As for him 4 years in prison aint long enough, if it were my daughter he hit, he wouldnt be able to sing (if thats what it is called that he does) ever again. DAZUM
I agree with you when you say no one should be hitting anyone period, because I believe in equality for all in all cases period; violence, sexism, racism etc does not favour race, sex, level of education, social standing etc. But that article is a bit messed up. Any one can reach a boiling point an erupt, but so say that a ‘common dynamic’ starts with a woman abusing a man (verbally or otherwise – and the woman in this article sounds a bit cocky I might add) implies that most cases of domestic violence start with the woman abusing the man, which cannot be right…
For me i think that rihana started the fight and that it not faire becuse she has all that brueses and she is complaining but she started it