Letter to a Wayward Wife


The following letter was sent around by email in the past week. I don’t know where it came from.

The message though, is eternal…

Dear Wayward Wife,

Let’s take a moment to honestly look at your future as a divorcee.  It is both stark and bleak.  You are going to be chronically poor. Statistically, in spite of your hopes and dreams of new and better love, you are unlikely to remarry.  Even if you do, the man you marry will be of a lower quality than the man you’re leaving and will likely to be much older; ten or more years your senior is common. 

But the more likely case is even worse: statistically your future will be increasingly hopeless as you age. You’ll engage in a long series of sexual encounters with increasingly lower quality men gaining sexual access through feigned desires for a long-term relationship when, in truth, you merely serve as life support for your vagina. But this is only until your attractiveness wanes, when you’ll find it near-impossible to get even a one-night stand.  This is borne out by the facts and buttressed by my anecdotal experience.  Every single woman with whom I’ve dealt in such matters has become sexually active before the ink is even dry on the divorce papers and usually before they’re even signed.  Every. Single. One.  After rationalizing an unbiblical divorce, it must be easy to rationalize adultery, even serial adultery.

You’ve embarked down a path that reliably ends in abject loneliness, estrangement from your children (usually caused by a new boyfriend who has no interest in the needs of your children), predictably ending in lonely old age with pets as your sole companions.  Even if you turn out to be the one woman in a thousand who finds fleeting felicity down this wayward path, it will not be with God’s blessing.  This is no path to either long-term happiness or eternal bliss.

In today’s sick and confused culture this decision is yours and yours alone to make but, if you do move forward and remove yourself from your husband’s protection, you will do so disabused of any ability to seek sympathy through honest claims of ignorance in future conversations or prayers.  To the contrary, you now divorce with the full knowledge that your and your children’s lives and circumstances will suffer in ways you will later come to severely regret.  The consequences are simply baked into the decision.

My strong advice is to work to restore your marriage and seek its betterment.  That’s your best path and God can and does work miracles when hearts are changed and when forgiveness is both sought and given.  The alternative now stands in stark relief: “This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’”


Filed under Culture & Race Issues

32 responses to “Letter to a Wayward Wife

  1. Anonymous

    looking for the Letter to A Wayward Husband now

  2. Jack Bowman

    This elicits the mildest sympathy only if the writer defines “wayward”. If the word is meant to denote a woman who has betrayed her marriage vows, especially if she has been unfaithful, then the piece is possibly, just about possibly, acceptable. Otherwise the word is so loose as be useless in deciding whether the writer’s attitudes are correct.

    And some of this stuff is truly creepy. The assertion that “you now divorce with the full knowledge that your and your children’s lives and circumstances will suffer in ways you will later come to severely regret” is open to all kinds of interpretations, some of which are deeply unsavory — especially in light of many recent and internationally published stories about the murdered children of divorced couples.

    I don’t think this “message is eternal”, BFP. On the contrary, I think it’s more than a little unsettling.

  3. Not me

    I don’t read any “threat” about this at all. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women for no reason other than boredom or wanting to move up. The truth is most women who divorce end up losing in many ways as this letter points out.

  4. P. Smith

    Bowman is way off. Nothing in the letter is sinister and all the natural consequences of adultery / divorce are true and belay Bowman’s contention that the letter is threatening or sinister.

  5. Jack Bowman

    Not me: “The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women for no reason other than boredom or wanting to move up.”

    Offer something to back that up. Something. Anything. Just one datum.

    The vast majority of car crashes in Barbados are caused by massive frozen blocks of urine falling five miles vertically downwards out of the toilets of trans-Atlantic airliners and landing on cars in Hastings.

  6. Analyser

    The vast majority of divorcesw these says are initiated by women who knew without a doubt that they were men on the inside but were also aware that their parent(s) and society would frown on them if they were to come out in the open. Therefore, they played the game of getting married and even having children. Some of them make demands on the men who, in the name of loving them, would turn those demands into wishes only to find out later that they were jilted in the name of other women with whom they then strut their stuff in public without any emotion of shame.

    Men, watch how your women dress, talk, act around other women and the types of women friends that they have right under your nose or go to see overseas. Eventually, you will find that when they leave you, it is one of those women with whom they shack up and later strut their relationship in the presence of their children (if any) and members of the public.

  7. Hypergamy


    Look it up jack.

  8. Hypergamy

    I disagree that the majority of divorced women do so because they want to adopt lesbian partners. The women bail from marriage because it is easy and they are told men hold them back. Women see men as the enemy because that is the predominant feminist propaganda.

  9. Hypergamy

    Women tend to be more concerned about their marriages than men. They buy most of the books on marriage to try to improve them and initiate most marriage counseling. They often complain about their marriages to their closest friends and sometimes to anyone who will listen. And they also file for divorce twice as often as men.

    Marriage builders.com

  10. Marriage builders.com

    When I talk to their husbands, they usually have a very different explanation as to why their wives feel the way they do. They often feel that the expectations of women in general, and their wives in particular, have grown completely out of reach. These men, who feel that they’ve made a gigantic effort to be caring and sensitive to their wives, get no credit whatsoever for their sizeable contribution to the family. They feel under enormous pressure to improve their financial support, improve the way they raise their children, and improve the way they treat their wives. Many men I see are emotionally exhausted and feel that for all their effort, they get nothing but criticism.

  11. just asking

    What about the men who divorce their wives? are we going to get a letter about that., they are the ones, most of the time go out & look for extra-marital affairs, go home & beat up their wives, & say I haven’t done anything wrong, she was asking for it, who suffers the most, the children, if they are children.

  12. Jack Bowman


    If you are a man and your wife left you for another woman, you have my sympathy. Your wife also has my sympathy.

    Perhaps only inadvertently, you raise an interesting point. Some research (by normally creditable institutions) seems to indicate that more black people are likely to be gay than white people. Strictly speaking, what the research indicates is that IN THE UNITED STATES ALONE a higher proportion of blacks are more likely to self-identify as gay or lesbian than whites are likely to do.

    My knowledge of the research does not allow me to make any comments about whether black American women are more likely to be lesbians. In any case, the research depended on self-reporting respondents (though admittedly the sample was massive). Perhaps black American lesbians are more willing to self-report as lesbians than white American lesbians.

    I just thought the research was interesting, and perhaps worthy of further development.

  13. cucumber man

    Just asking talks ‘what about men?’

    Men ask for divorce in only about 30% of divorces. While some men beat their women, it is true that most marital violence is initiated by women. Look it up. They don’t do so well when the man responds in kind, but they initiate the violence mostly.

    Look it up. It is also true that the vast majority of women initiating divorces do not claim to have been assaulted or otherwise physically abused. They just want out for personal reasons to seek better men. The ‘better man’ seldom appears though.

    At 40 years old, men still have marital and sexual market value. Women do not. This ‘wayward wife’ letter is nothing more or less than a word to the wise woman: statistics say you will find nothing better in a man out there, and will likely be much worse off. Your 40 year old husband though will have the time of his life and be much valued by women of the same age and up to 15 years younger. Reality, baby! Reality!

  14. The most common source of problems in marriages is that the couple misinterpreted their mutual feelings of attraction as love. This normally results in the couple trying to keep up appearances after about 5 years, and wondering where the love went.

    It is important to know that attraction is an emotional feeling that may fade, while love is a promise that has little to do with attraction. I have found that every marriage can me improved. See (loveisapromise.wordpress.com) “Attraction is a feeling. Love is a promise.”

  15. Simple man

    That’s right brotherska!

    True love is a decision.

    ‘Love’ is usually hormones.

    You know what makes a hormone?

    (wait for it!)

    When you don’t pay her!

    (badda-bing, badda-boom!)

  16. robert ross

    The letter is redolent with male hormones justifying, pleading, bullying, cynically parasitical. I’d tell him to F off. I’d say it is my life, my decision, my judgement on myself and him. If I’m wrong, I don’t need this unfaithful, ego-ridden, control skunk to tell me so. He’d better just make sure he pays his maintenance else I’ll screw his balls off.

  17. Realistic

    I can’t figure out why any intelligent young man would bother getting married these days. 50 % of the time the marriage fails and 100% of the time the man is blamed and must pay. Women lament the dearth of willing husbands. No wonder!

  18. Claire Rayner OBE

    Dear Wayward Wife,
    Leave the snivelling bastard!

  19. gentle jim

    @realistic: Maybe he is a Christian ?

  20. robert ross

    In my comment above I gave a possible response of the wife to a letter which can only be categorized as patronizing and self-serving.

    As someone pointed out, more wives seek divorce than husbands. But – as a rough estimate – my experience is that most wives don’t really want divorces. When you quiz them about their feelings for the husband they usually say they still love him. What they are doing by seeking divorce is to get back at him for a perceived wrong – usually infidelity.

    Even if the husband has been unfaithful, he usually has a story to tell – the wife has nagged and nagged and attempted to control him. has belittled him, has exhibited so many mood changes during a typical day that it has been impossible for him to feel comfortable – so that taken all in all his life has been an ongoing misery. And that, he will say, is why in the end he sought comfort elsewhere. He will also go on to say he loves the wife but that he simply can’t live with her.

    Falling in love is wonderful but it only scratches the surface. Male or female it’s all great until he/she has GOTCHA.. Then the power games start, lovey feelings fade and the partners adopt respective positions which result only in conjoint misery. And you know, when people reach a certain age, it’s virtually impossible for them to change. The wife, for example, will absolutely deny she’s a control freak. The husband will absolutely deny he never listens and, in any event, will justify his behavior by reference to his demonstrable kindness and generosity during the marriage which the wife has thrown back at him and disrespected by being the way she is – to which the wife will say (proving his point) – ‘did you think those things were important to me?’ – though, of course, if he hadn’t done what was asked of him he would never have heard the end of it. Can’t win I’m afraid. And all this is ‘made in heaven’?

  21. Anonymous

    Jesus. This is religious sexist nonsense. But it has the word god in it so the mindless nut bags will read it “intellectualize” it, expand it, and ultimately agree with it. How sad it is that humans have not gotten over this nonsense called religion as yet.

  22. just want to know

    Religion will always be in our human nature. That is how God made us. But getting back to this imbecile, there is a film where the lead star got her grove back, because a younger man loved her, just the the way she was, older, sexy, & in the grove. Some one could help me remember the name of the film; so the person who wrote this thing is a real loser.

  23. Anonymous

    Yes it’s how god made us. Makes sense.

  24. Robert Storey

    Women should know their place, it’s in the home looking after the husband and children. Man is the provider, always has been always will be.

    All these mamby pamby tree huggers make me sick.

  25. Robert Storey

    Piss off impersonator.

  26. Dirty ditty

    Robert, please desist from using profanities; is this tantrum because you have finally come to terms with the fact Mr. Ames is not the property guru you thought?

    What do you think of the Due Diligence?

    Or do you need to pay £240.00

  27. Robert Storey

    This thread is entitled “letter to a wayward wife” You must be some moron to to post what you have on this thread.

  28. just want to know

    Anyone remember the film how Stella got her grove back ” a younger man who loved her, so there you are moron, divorce woman are still attractive & can grove idiot.

  29. D Oracle

    Any wealthy divorcee has a different reality which includes getting young men to clip her dirty toenails and suck her withered dugs when she is old and doddering.

  30. islandgal246

    The letter writer believes he is a prize and should be kept. Wife please leave immediately and get that divorce ASAP! One lesson should have been learnt by the letter writer that you cannot force someone to love you. It is better to be happy and alone than to be unhappy with someone. Relationships and people change over time embrace it or get out of it if it no longer appeals to you. Women have choices , women are independent , women are strong. Women are not prepared to put up with one sided relationships. Marriage is a partnership, some work well and some dissolve. Get up of your sorry ass and grow up!

  31. Jack Bowman

    Good to know, islandgal246. Well said.

    Here’s some more of islandgal246’s PUBLISHED advice to abused women world-wide who are terrified of their abuser:

    “Run outta de house and keep running. Start training in long distance running before yuh run outta de house.”

    Funny, right? Isly ya got ma bawlin!!!!!!

  32. Anonymous

    Self serving, and clearly rooted in the fact that the writer can see no worthwhile existence for a woman outside the context of a man. No wonder she’s divorcing him!