Nation News ‘Dear Christine’ advises woman to commit paternity fraud

paternity fraud barbados

“it will not be in your best interest, >>> for you to bring this matter to the fore at this stage.”

A married woman is preggers and doesn’t know if her husband or some bloke at the office is the father. “Dear Christine” in The Nation advises the woman to keep her yob shut because it is not in her best interest to tell her husband.

It’s called PATERNITY FRAUD and women do it to men all the time. Once the man starts paying for the child it is usually too late to reverse the responsibility even if the man was tricked into believing it was his child.

Paternity Fraud has been called ‘The Perfect Crime

Do you love your wife? Good. Is she having a baby? Good.

At the first opportunity make sure you quietly take a DNA swab when no one is looking and send it away for testing to see if the child is really yours. Better to know right away for a whole lot of reasons.

Just do it.

Further Reading

Wikipedia: Paternity Fraud

Daily Mail: Another paternity fraud victim reveals how he was deceived.

PaternityFraud.com

31 Comments

Filed under Barbados, Crime & Law, Culture & Race Issues, Human Rights

31 responses to “Nation News ‘Dear Christine’ advises woman to commit paternity fraud

  1. robert ross

    When I phoned my bank today they were apparently all talking about this. I haven’t seen the ‘Advice’. But seemingly it’s ‘don’t say anything NOW’ – not hoodwink whoever is going to foot the bill – this, I suppose, on the principle ‘never confess’. The lady may wish to get an abortion to remove the dilemma. At this stage there is no question of fraud – which, of course, is not to gainsay the advice in the post if there is any reason at all to doubt paternity. DNA tests are readily available and are resorted to regularly in the courts.

  2. Yes, Christine told her to keep quiet.

    WED, JANUARY 29, 2014 – 12:01 AM

    Dear Christine,

    My husband and I are the proud parents of two children – both teenagers. We have been married for 15 years and as far as I know, we’ve never had a third party in our marriage.

    That was until nine months ago when I got intoxicated at an office party and had sex with one of my co-workers.

    It wasn’t like it just happened. This was a guy who would always drop little hints to let me know how he felt about me. Since that night, we have not slept with each other. In fact, a few days after it happened we apologised to each other.

    That night, we had unprotected sex; something I never would have done had I been in my right mind. To cut a long story short, I am now pregnant and I am wondering if the child is my husband’s.

    It is true that my husband (who is a really a wonderful man) and I have never had a break in our intimacy. In fact, we had intercourse a day after this incident, but I am feeling guilty about what happened back then.

    I am wondering if I should tell my husband about that one night, or for the sake of all involved, leave things as they are.

    Countless times I have prayed and asked the Lord to forgive me for what I did, because as I said earlier, had I not been intoxicated, it never would have happened.

    What should I do? Should I just let it go?

    – W.L.

    Dear W.L.,

    Listen to me carefully. I am not asking you not to be honest with your husband, but I honestly believe it will not be in your best interest, that of your husband or your children for you to bring this matter to the fore at this stage.

    What will your “confession” accomplish?

    Your feelings of guilt about what happened seemingly have your mind working overtime. Don’t buy into this and ruin your marriage over something you did nine months ago, and have prayed about “countless times”. God has forgiven you. Accept His forgiveness and forgive yourself.

    Your colleague has shown no further interest in you and he too has moved on.

    Don’t live in the past. Leave well enough alone and may you and your husband have a healthy baby boy or girl.

    My additional advice would be to stay off the alcohol, particularly if you have plans of attending other social events without your husband.

    – CHRISTINE

  3. What Christine really said

    Dear WL

    For legal purposes in the newspaper, I have to tell you that I’m not telling you to be dishonest with your husband. But now I’m going to tell you that you had better be dishonest and not tell him.

    If your child was fathered by another man, keep it secret from your husband because if he believes it is his, he will support you and the child. More important, when you decide to leave him he will have to keep paying for the child even if he later discovers it was fathered by another man.

    Keep quiet. That’s what is in your interest. Nevermind the interest of your husband. Saddle him with this debt burden for the next 20 years. If you can just remain silent for a few years, you’re set for life!

    Stupid men!

    Yee ha!

  4. PLANTATION DEEDS FROM 1926 TO 2014 , MASSIVE FRAUD ,LAND TAX BILLS AND NO DEEDS OF BARBADOS, BLPand DLP=Massive Fruad

    Real Life, MY friend now about 45 , the same very thing happen to his Mother and now he got married with the family name “SMITH” and for 45 years he thinks that “SMITH”is his name ,He then got married and had 2 children thinking that “SMITH” is his name , Wife now carried”SMITH” the wrong name , children carry”SMITH” the wrong name , All papers and ID carry this”SMITH” name , Seem more like slavery to carry the name of your master not knowing his own name , The only name he now knows is his Mothers name “STUPID”, But not his real father name “GONE”which his Mother will not tell him for he curse her out bad.Well if he want carry his mothers name of “STUPID” he can, for he does not know his real fathers name.Now will he tell his wife or his children that the name they have is not there real name?What a mess , none of my business , He dont even know that i know.

    Another truth , Another friend was sick and the doctors told him, to have his father come in for testing to help , He told his father and his father told yes, But the doctor said after testing that MAN is not your father , Some time later he got very mad at his father and told his father, Well ,you not my father! The father reply and said! That is some thing you have to take up with your Mother.My friend lived.

  5. John

    If the guy has a proper mother she will deal with it for him!!

    I was told of a situation when the mother of a husband and “proud supposed father” asked the attending physician outside the delivery room to do a paternity test.

    When told by the doctor that the test was expensive, the mother replied, it can’t be as expensive as 18 years of child support.

    Imagine if it was twins or triplets!!

    Maybe men should wise up!!

    Women are far more practical and forthright and get to solutions quicker than men do …… if they actually do!!

    I don’t know if dna tests should be compulsory, some men don’t mind being thought a fool.

  6. robert ross

    We can all read I suppose: “to bring this matter to the fore AT THIS STAGE”

  7. PLANTATION DEEDS FROM 1926 TO 2014 , MASSIVE FRAUD ,LAND TAX BILLS AND NO DEEDS OF BARBADOS, BLPand DLP=Massive Fruad

    In the late 70s , In science class we did blood test as part of classes . At some point it STOP. Many were not matching up at home? lololol,
    mommys baby daddys maybe? You are not the father,

  8. John

    RR

    Agree, there is hope for the guy, …. but who tell you he ain’t done know the situation already and chose his path accordingly?

  9. Anonymous

    BFP, when you get a chance to step down from your ivory tower pray tell what advice would you have offered the lady who wrote asking for help? Can I presume she’s the first person (notice I did not say female) who made a mistake while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. What are we suggesting here “Tie her to the stake”! She made a mistake and now has to live with it forever; let’s cut some slack and pray that the child is that of her husband. Her letter did not suggest to me that what happened to her is a lifestyle choice like that of some males.

  10. robert ross

    Anon

    Right on.

  11. Simple Simon

    When we go to a wedding the priest advises that “if anyone knows any cause or just impediment why these 2 should not be joined together let him speak now or FOREVER AFTER hold thy peace.”

    Would you say that the Christian churches are advising marriage fraud?

    Because that statement means that if the day after the wedding you discover that the couple are father and daughter or brother and sister you have promised to be silent. You must do nothing to disturb a marriage.

    In life there are time to speak and times to be silent.

    The woman has said that she is 9 months pregnant and that she is the parent of two other children

    What good would come from disturbing the marriage at this point?

    Dear Christine/The Nation was right to give the advice that was given.

  12. Simple Simon

    Although I rather suspect that the letter is fake, probably submitted to the Nation by some jokers from the University of Waterford or BFP.

    Because no woman in her right mind would wait for 9 months after the deed to sort out her dilemma.

  13. Simple Simon

    Men bin doing the dirty deed with outside women from the beginning of time.

    How do we think that it happened that all black Bajans have some “white” blood.

    The white plantocrats in Barbados have been having sex (without consent) with their enslaved women from 1627 on.

    And BFP wants to crucify this woman.

    How do you know that 20, 30, 40 years from now this child is not going to turn out to the the best, most loving, most dutiful of this husband’s children?

  14. Simple Simon

    How do you know BFP that your daddy is your daddy?

    Have you had a DNA test done?

    If your pretty, young, respectable but horny, married mother had got drunk horned your father nine months before you were born do you think that she would tell you?

    You do know don’t you that worldwide 5% of daddies are not the biological fathers of their supposed children?

    Until you all have had a DNA test done to see whether your fathers are indeed your fathers then you all should keep your yobs shut.

  15. Simple Simon

    BFP famous for fake tea partyesque moral outrage.

  16. Simple Simon

    @What Christine really said “If your child was fathered by another man, keep it secret from your husband because if he believes it is his, he will support you and the child.”

    How do you know that the husband supports the woman and the children?

    Women work you know.

    And a lotta women work for significantly more that their husbands.

    A lotta women inherit seed to seed houses from their mothers and grandmothers.

    How do you know that the husband is not living rent free for years in the woman’s family house?

    You do not know whether in this marriage the husband is not the one who benefits the most financially.

  17. Uncle K.

    Most divorces are actioned by women: some 80% or more depending upon the country. Most courts and laws are biased against men with the children going to the mother automatically unless the man can show cause.

    With custody comes court mandated support: support for the mother who cannot work because she has to look after the children, and support for the children.

    Top it all off by court decisions practically everywhere that men have to pay support for a child even if the child is not theirs, if they initially accepted the lies and fraud of the mother.

    Very few of the commenters are concerned at all about the man being defrauded. Most of the commenters uphold a woman’s right to lie to a man about the child she is carrying. Most of the commenters say that some slut woman who gets pregnant should be able to just pick any man she likes as the father as long as she had sex with them around the time of conception. And by extension should be able to choose the man best able to support her and the child financially for the next 20 years.

    That’s some standard! No wonder young men have little interest in marriage and a family: the deck is stacked from the start and it only gets worse.

    The writer of this article is correct: even if a man has no reason to suspect the paternity of ‘his’ child, he should do a DNA test as soon as possible.

    I will.

  18. Simple Simon

    Dear Uncle K:

    I God/.Mother Nature/Evolution had wanted mammals to know whether or not they are the male of the children he/she/it would have build in/evolved some mechanism so that males would know.

    Men ain’t supposed to know. Put that in ya pipe and smoke it.

    Tell them to shut up and pay up.

    And check first to see whether the daddy who supported you from infancy to adulthood is your daddy.

  19. Simple Simon

    Is every son got between the lawful sheets a good and dutiful son?

    Is every daughter got between the the lawful sheets a good and dutiful daughter?

    Dear BFP you may not yet have lived long enough to taste the bite of ingratitude of lawfully begotten children.

    Live a few more years, until it touches you, or read King Lear today.

  20. Simple Simon

    And check first to see whether the daddy who supported you from infancy to adulthood is your daddy…and if he isn’t, now that you are a big man, you can start paying him back the money he spent supporting you.

  21. J chalmers

    Firstly if the couple had teenagers they must have been using some kind of contraception so it would seem too much of a coincidence if her husband is the father secondly there is the morning after pill that acts as an emergency pill thirdly if had such a good marriage she should have told her husband what had happened before she had intercourse with him the next day and they could have waited to find out the consequences before having intercourse and if he loved her he would have understood and forgiven her.I certainly think she should get a paternity test done when she has had the baby and telling her husband if its not his.Surely the most important thing here is the child and that it should be loved and cared for by whoever is responsible.how completely drunk do you have to be not to say no lady.

  22. gentle jim

    As a product of such an occurance ,I can tell you it has not been easy. To be ostracized by your mother’s family and not even knowing your real father is not something anyone should go through. You have to walk in the person’s shoes to really know.

  23. gentle jim

    “Your comment is awaiting moderation” And why is that?

  24. R Thomas

    Would you advise every woman and every man to follow that advice? Adultery is deadly. It destroys relationships. The adulterer lives in a zone of distrust and cannot share the center of his soul with his wife. Where is the place for shedding the load? where is the place for confession? where is the place for healing? Will this kid be given up for adoption? Will he be lied to, about paternity? Every time this lady considers her one phase of sexual folly and the result would she be lamenting like Cain: “my punishment is greater than I can bear!”? What would be the result if somehow the father in the house just perchance suspected something fishy and asked for a paternity test to be done? What will assuage the pain and the anguish and the anger?
    Sexual sin batters our centers, distorts our emotional senses. The foolish man who jumped into bed with this married woman has the rage of a husband pursuing him. Proverbs 6:32 will hit him like a four x four plank.
    Covering up the “secret”, lying about it, aborting the babe are all dangerous and temporary ways of hiding the truth. But truth will come out now and later. Bottling this matter is no solution. It will explode and cause many to hurt. The matter needs the church, professional care to deal with the issues and confession and forgiveness from God through Christ.

  25. John

    Uncle K.

    January 31, 2014 at 2:13 am

    Most divorces are actioned by women
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Agree …. but there is another factor to consider.

    Some men will not allow their wife and children to be in any way dishonoured and prefer to bear the blame of the marriage collapse themselves.

    Most men will not divorce their wives.

    Just an observation …. from the days of yore …. when men were men.

  26. John

    …. that is not to say men were altruistic, I am sure some were worried what their pals would say about their abilities if they divorced their wife …. say for adultery.

  27. J chalmers

    I just think in this particular case where it was a one off drunken mistake and not an affair that being honest about it to her husband would have been the less hurtful in the long run and would have given him the chance to decide for himself what course of action he would take and I believe he would have stood by her and supported her whereas now if he finds out he may not be able to forgive her lies where he could have at least have understood what happened.

  28. D Oracle.

    If a woman tricks a man into believing the child is his, he should bull she cruel.

  29. Absolutely sick and cruel. May God protect me from this ever happening to me and if my wife ever does it, may she be exposed and her illegitimate kids and protect me from having any actual kids with her as well so I can leave them and I hope she is cursed with disbelief so she can roast in the fire forever. But may God prevent such a thing from occurring in the first place.