Stranded Ghana International Airlines Passengers Avoid Penis Theft Panic Back Home – Army Called Out In Congo To Stop Lynchings Of Penis Thieves

Oops… Our Bad…

The Ghana Penis Riots were 11 years ago, although according to reports (PDF here) smaller incidents of penis theft and associated violence continue in Ghana to this day. The new Penis Riots are in Congo. We misread the date on the CNN Ghana article so we re-wrote the article to correct this.

Our apologies if our original information caused any inconvenience to our stranded travelers from Ghana who, we presume, are anxious to go home and as tired as we are of the idiocy that continues to strand them here.

You Can’t Make Up Stuff Like This, Folks!

Now we know another reason that our predominantly-male guests from Ghana were happy to arrive in Barbados and are so reluctant to go back home. It seems that another wave of penis thefts started in January – this time in the Congo – and continues throughout the surrounding area.

Riots have broken out in the Congo and police have had to rescue dozens of suspected JuJu (magic) penis shrinkers from mobs.

This isn’t the first time. A decade ago twelve people were lynched and beaten to death by mobs in Ghana’s capitol city over penis snatching. Other incidents go back into the 1980’s. Despite a decade of African governments’ health authorities explaining why men’s penises change in size, and why the plumbing might not work as well as it should as men get older, an epidemic of penis thefts is once again happening. Hundreds of men have reported to the police that their penises have been snatched and replaced by a non-functioning fake.

Really.

In other news, Barbadian men don’t seem to have the same trouble with having their penises stolen… or maybe our women are simply more attractive? (And I hear a laugh from the kitchen as she says, “Or we are just more tolerant of bad plumbing!)

Yes dear. 😉

CNN: 7 Killed In Ghana Over “Penis-Snatching” Episodes

Reuters: Penis Theft Panic Hits City

Kuro5hin: Koro: A Natural History Of Penis Panics

13 Comments

Filed under Africa, Barbados, Ghana, Health, Religion

13 responses to “Stranded Ghana International Airlines Passengers Avoid Penis Theft Panic Back Home – Army Called Out In Congo To Stop Lynchings Of Penis Thieves

  1. Rumplestilskin

    Someone had better warn the Ghanaians that penis snatchers are indeed present in Barbados, for some time.

    Do you remember the Merrymen calypso ‘who lost the bana on the savannah’?

    This should be taken seriously, not lightly, especially for those of us who value our appendages.

    Indeed, although replacement ‘equipment’ is advertised on the cable channels, such may not take the place of one’s own origina.

    Having said that, many of US 😉 have not not been in contact with such culprits and thus are well justified to believe this is a myth, particularly confirmed when one encounters the nubile creativity of the Almighty, presented in daily life.

    😉

  2. So Long

    Lef Africa alone nuh……..

  3. I guess it is Friday and it must be a slow news day in Barbados so it is okay to write something that you believe is funny, and in the process pour some further scorn on the Ghanaian illegals in your country.

    That’s cool, man. Why is it so hard for you guys to get your act together and send them back? Digging up 11 year old stories from Ghana and linking them to recent events in Congo will not help take care of the problem, you know. But if it makes you feel better about “them Africans”, then we ought to be grateful, shoudn’t we?

    A small myopic mindset is probably as bad a thing to have as a small penis. They say it is not the size of one’s mind that matters, it is what you do with it……. 🙂

    gbetor@kpetoe

    ****************

    BFP says,

    Hey gbetormenyo,

    And if the people of Africa wish not to be laughed at, or not to be thought of as uncivilized then they shouldn’t lynch and riot over penis thefts. Or bury live dogs by the crossroads. Or rape thousands of babies a year as a folk-cure for everything from aids to cancer.

    It is a whole other world over there. No, I haven’t been, but Robert has told us some of what he has seen while working in Africa and I have come to realise that my view of Africa has been sanitized by the oldstream media for reasons of political correctness.

  4. Adrian Hinds

    ha ha ha ha ha lawrd come fuh yuh world. Who exactly is the Black Lion? whomever he is, it appears to me that the sympathy they were hoping for on the Internet via their lies about the situation surrounding these alleged African tourists did not “pan” out as expected.

    Take a read here…… http://www.bnvillage.co.uk/news-politics-village/98723-urgent-report-africans-incarcerated-barbados.html

  5. come on BFP( is it Clive?)

    it is not so bad over there. I cannot fault or argue with the experience of Robert but it will be wrong for him to extrapolate his experiences to cover the entire vast continent.

    When you use expressions like “the people of Africa” you are ignoring the fact that there are 54 diverse countries here with very diverse peoples within each country. It will be like me being caught up in the experience of Katrina and saying this is what America is.

    I have met a Bajan who visited Ghana and has nothing but good things to say about his experience. I am sure there are some weird superstitions in the Carribean too. We do not have a monopoly on that. True, economically Barbados is better than Ghana and that is why some of my compatriots made this attempt to invade your island.

    Clive, I suggest you take a visit to Ghana soon and write a honest account of your experiences. Meanwhile just send these guys back to us- okay? This is taking too long. 😉

  6. J

    Dear BFP: Have you considered that the reason nobody steals the penis’ of Bajan men is that they are not worth stealing?

    Amen.

  7. Sargeant

    J

    That is called “hitting below the belt”

  8. J

    Dear Sargeant:

    I know, I know, but the devil made me do it!!!!

  9. J

    Dear BFP: If many tens of millions of men did not suffer penis anxiety then Viagra would not be the BIGGEST selling pharmaceutical ever, with Cialis following close behind. Many, many men are afraid their thingy will drop off, or shrivel, or not be UP to scratch. In this instance lay off the African brothers. In their anxiety they are not any different from men in the rest of the world. Lay off will ya!!!!!

  10. crapy-press

    if it is free press, why do comments need moderation??? (the irony of free press)

  11. Beware the African Fraud

    Please BFP, beware this gbetormenyo fraud and his invitations to come to Africa.

    There has long been a big kidnapping racket in West Africa, where they lure foreigners there and then hold them for ransom. Some end up dead.

    Furthermore, I do not think he is posting from Africa at all.

  12. John

    I have read with disgust the despicable comments on this free press regarding the Ghanaians and Nigerians stranded in Barbados. Much of these comments reveal such ignorance and intellectual backwardness that I am almost ashamed to read what Barbadians write, being a Barbadian myself. It leads me to belief that those who purport Afro centricity do so without a deeper understanding and experience of it or what it means to them. I have several friends from across the African continent, from the muslim North of Egypt and Morocco to the more Christian sub-Saharan including South, Central, East and West. And from my years of experience interacting with these people, I have nothing but respect and human love for them. I have also been to Nigeria and it was for me a wonderful experience in life, to be able to understand another’s culture as it relates to heritage and the reality of the disparities and similarities we hold as a people is profound. Is Nigeria a corrupt place… Yes it is. Are there animistic practises; yes there are. But is everyone there the same and corrupt. Absolutely not. But you cannot begin to understand this through what you read in the Western press, and I’m afraid those of who you jump on the band wagon of hear say, are absolutely and shamefully ignorant. Sadly, we have become a people swayed by Western ideals. Many of you should take a deeper look at yourself and your Bible, and ask does God love me more than the African’s that I am ready to crucify or are we all the same people in the eyes of God. After all did He not say, He created the earth and everything in it and it was good. So what makes us think we are better than one another? You people need to seriously understand the world and the various people in it. Read some books and be informed, then you will understand the history of the niger delta region and the reasons for the kidnapping.

  13. John

    Looks like there is another John in here.